Sunday

So it is Sunday again and I feel like myself.

Phew! Just in time to....start work again Monday?

The work weeks have me on a treadmill that is both safe and unsatisfying.

Sundays are glorious in that work worries seem to keep their distance. The calibration in my head adjusts back to MY approved measurements of success (as opposed to aforementioned work) and I am able to do things like: putter in the yard, make myself a glass of iced tea, and do a load of laundry with the self-assuredness of a truly balanced, productive citizen of the world.

Early week I cling onto my Sunday Strength by coming home at lunch and talking to my cats. It helps a little. But the scales of sanity are easily tipped when faced with 8 grueling hours of workery. That's eight EVERY DAY mind you. The stream of incoming emails and coworker jockeying quickly sap the Sunday Strength.

Additionally I have myself as a direct target of manly adoration from a few, and I am not skillful at handling this social situation either. I am a truly sweet, kind, not-to-bad to look at woman and I cannot turn it off. I am noticing at least 3 co-workers saying things to me they should not be saying, but I don't know what to say to shut them up. It is difficult because I do like these guys, I think of them as my friends, and then they take me by surprise. I spoke to one male co-worker if my patient listening to these guys was implying that I was available and he said yes. That men will think everything is okay unless they are actively given a "no" and I act offended. So there is that pain in the ass in addition to everything else work entails. My god, I thought being married was enough to stop men from behaving badly, but apparently not.

Difficulty begets difficulty and the week drags on. Friday's are good, I usually drink too much and then lay awake planning how I will get caught up next week. Saturday I'm doing stuff that life requires and then glorious Sunday reappears and I get to be myself again! Safe at home with the husband and the dogs and cats.