That is it.

Watched Band of Brothers for 9 hours yesterday. Today I fed the cat I am cat-sitting and gave the dog a bath. That is it.

Big Snow in New House

I have looked all over the house and cannot find the charger for the camera. So snowstorm 2009 will not get documented. I did find about 10 other chargers, all of differing voltages and none fitting the camera.

My search lead me to look under the sofas. Even though we have lived here barely 2 months there are trinkets, dog hair and papers galore under there. The junk is staying right where it lies however. If I move the couches and sweep I won't have energy to do anything else all day!

Teyla, her own dog

Teyla has tried to be the center of attention all weekend. There was snow on Friday night and she realized she loves it! There is nothing like running and chasing the flying squirrel in the crunching snow. She has figured out that if she paws at me and whines I will get up and take her out. This used to be a good dog-human communication skill since it also meant, "I have to do my business please let me out." However post-snow it means take me out for a good time, take me out for a good time, take me out for a good time. I still love it; albeit annoying. Her inquisitive eyes, the ripple of understanding across her face when I say, "Out?"; what a joy to share your life with a dog!

Blithe

Blithe, that's what I want to be, all the time. Blithe, I had to look it up, but that's it.

Work Sucks, for the 1,954th time.

Well, projects getting into disarray, forensic evidence required to support my company's position, so looking forward to time-consuming, gut-wrenching, mind-bending gymanstics on my part to come up with the story.

This has happened many times in my life and the common thread is definitely me......

However in my 16 years of full-time work I have never been fired. I do get the feeling that inevitably in some future recession I will be one of those older employees that is the first to be let go and it will take me months to find a job again. And actually I am ok with that.

It is the story and the story's defense that I really really hate. It's the story, and the listening to superiors speeches about how important this is and now is the time to step up and have your research and defenses in position, etc. Oh, that's the real torture, is when they don't fire you, they are just disappointed.

Prayer

Please oh big answer-er of prayers in the sky. Let this weekend go smoothly. The husband is already talking about putting a bullet in his head. How awful! Nothing I say makes him feel better.

This is the weekend we move Momma. After 45 years in the same house....husband said when he talked to her this evening she was blathering on and on incomprehensibly.

Tired

I brought home my work computer to do work at home this evening. Oh God.

I'm having anxiety about my dog eating the cat food everyday; be-cause, she is in agility class and is supposed to be an "athlete". AND I'm afraid the agility instructor will give me the talking to. But I rack my brain to figure out how to prevent this from happening!!!

Now I'm stressed out that I used 'rack' in the wrong context or spelled it incorrectly...racked, wreaked, wracked, wreacked? I dunno.

I have a slight background anxiety because my mother-in-law moves next weekend and she helped me out so much when we moved that I am afraid I have not done enough for her and am now owing her somehow. I don't give as much as I take. I might not. Who cares. Whatever.

Sunday

I walked two miles yesterday with the dog and I can feel it. JHC I'm out of shape. Am going to go again this morning if I can get my butt going. Picking up kitties this afternoon, it will be fun delivering them, but now I am not sure why I volunteered to do such.

My Newtie is purring by my side. He is a lover for sure, most loving cat ever!

Nature

While I love the new house and the space, the cleanliness, and the furniture, I do miss the shore house. Obviously I miss the view of the creek, I was expecting that. What I was not expecting was missing the trees, weeds, flowers and birds as much as I do. At the shore house there are tall trees, I mean really big tulip poplars, and birds just seem to love hanging out atop of them. Even the weeds, especially on the steep hill down to the creek where things just popped up, gave a colorful show. And my flower bed where things are still blooming despite it being the end of October! And birds everywhere, seagulls, ducks, and little birds of all varieties just stopping by to inspect a seed head.

This yard is grass and a few scraggly trees. None of the vitality of the other house.

I will have to work on that.

Past month has not been boring enough.

It has been a long time since I last blogged, but honestly alot has happened lately.

I moved, painfully and slowly, weeding through my husband's and my junk. We even moved the husband's office trash can, with all the trash in it.

Moved my grandmother's furniture from her old, half-dilapidated, half-lived in house into my house. This in itself took 3 days work and emotional management. Still more work to go on this point, as some of the furniture still has mold and needs some re-finishing.

The shore house is being "renovated", and while not a task I am directly involved with I still am wondering what is going on over there.

just keep thinking of stuff

We are getting ready to move so we have not been doing the usual grocery shopping. The husband went out to pick up some "necessary" items and came back with Reese's peanut butter cup ice cream, ice cream sandwiches, and two things of caramel machiato creamer. Yep, that will keep us going for awhile.

Dog/Cat Love

My doggie, T, loves the cat - Precious. T will chew on the back of Precious' neck and just when I think I need to intervene because Precious might actually be getting et' up, Precious will rub up against T and beg for more. Weird. Then Precious has a slobbered up head and when I go to pet her it makes me chuckle.

This evening I read somebody else's blog that I like to follow and he mentioned that meglomaniacs (capitalists I presume) would fuck up the entire universe for a good fourth quarter. Truer words were never blogged. How does this become normal and the definition of success? I don't know!! It's like the whole human race is mentally deficient. Maybe it is just western civilization, I don't know, I haven't traveled that much. I like to fantasize about being a Native American though. Right here where I live now. I contemplate it when I walk the dog for the last walk of the day, and feel the breeze on my skin, listen to the sounds of the critters of the night, and wonder what it would be like if me and T went to bed in a tee-pee, or maybe just a hammock strung between trees, instead of into the house with the TV on and the stagnant air. We would not be alone though, my family would be there too. Extended family and all generations, spending their earthly years together. Eating and sleeping and making shelter together on lands we were all familiar with. We would know every animal, bug and plant we saw. We would tell time by the stars and the sun and the moon. At night we would tell stories and laugh. Sometimes sing and dance. The kids would always be with us and never be sent away to spend endless hours a day with a bunch of people all the exact same age....sigh.

My theory about how schools turn people into egotistical terds that have to spend their 20's un-learning all that shit will have to wait until another day.

Deadlines at Home

Trying to get the new house move-in ready. We need more weekends.

This is Not for all the "Good" People

Bless the people of these United States who share their home with more animals than is socially acceptable and love them and care for them.

Bless the people who have numerous lawn oranmants that annoy their good neighbors.

Bless the people that have worked for decades at the same job for an hourly wage.

Bless the people who drive cars with permanent tilts toward one side.

Bless the grown men who collect plastic dragons with wings.

Bless the old ladies that play the lottery every day.

Bless the people who live in houses in otherwise domesticated neighborhoods yet let the trees and weeds and bushes grow up all around them.

Bless the people who live in trailors and plant roses next to the steps.

A-men

Bone Tired

Had to stand all day for work. Then went out to dinner for a 3 hour meal and end-less conversation with co-workers....we solved all the worlds problems. And now I am wiggling underneath of the Hampton Inn bed covers. Sweet sleep please take me.

Why Blog?

I have been pondering why to blog. I have tried to keep a journal, the old pen and notebook way, and I would never keep at it. I still have one from 1996 laying around with about 10 entries spread across as many years.

One thing about blogging is the "new blog post" form. There are the open fields waiting for you to type things in there. And I'm so trained to click and type and fill out the empty fields and get down to the bottom of the page and click, "done" or "purchase" or whatever the case may be that posting a blog feels more like buying an airline ticket than jotting down my thoughts or feelings. Why is that? Obviously paper and pen was enough for humanity for many centuries. In museums and history books you always see old letters and diaries replicated...though I can never read the hand-writingin those old-style letters. Maybe I can make out every other word.

Anyways, why blog? Is it purely egocentric, hoping someone will read it and think I'm great? Even that did happen I am old enough to realize that one person's opinion of my tiny addition to the world wide web means nothing. And more than likely another person's opninion could do more damage to my tender ego than boost it!

I have always really enjoyed reading Thoreau's journals, and that is what I have attempted to replicate when I have attempted my own journaling. So it makes me wonder if Thoreau would blog, and if he did, would he accept comments? Would the comments affect him and his writing? I would like to know what he would have to say about all this....

Another day in the meat-grinder

That's all I got in me; a title.

If work were easy it wouldn't be called work.

Ahhh. After a delicious week of vacation, traveling and seeing new things, talking to new people, feeling yummy warm air and sunshine on my skin...work must be attended to once again. On the Monday back it felt like a Monday for sure and I started thinking once again about what the perfect job for me would be. For it can't possibly be this.

After years now of pondering this subject, for I am no spring chick, nothing has come of it really. Work is work and it's got to be done to pay the man and all his trappings.

After Monday depression sucked the air out of my lungs and that old tight pain in the chest returned I started running through my little ditties I say to myself to cope. The one that did the trick this time was, "I must do this for at least 25 more years [before social security or some kind of 401k kicks in]. Think about that, the thought that I must continue the 'quiet desperation' for 25 more years actually made me feel better. The fact that there is no way out and I am thoroughly convinced that I have actually run through all the other options in my head makes me feel better!

Just do it baby! Work the work for 25 more years. And try and love as many people who are stuck there with me, even if they're grouchy.

Lovely September day

Awesome day. The sunshine is a perfect gold backed up by comfortable air temperature and humidity levels. Many of my flowers are in bloom albeit I still need to do some weeding. I let things go when the sewer line was getting installed during August. Not like the month of August is my best weeding month anyways, but with a torn up yard and a big yellow back-hoe sitting in it it makes the chore even easier to avoid.

Day-to-day activities prove to be even more boring than previously thought.

Well I had intended to blog everyday, but that hasn't happened! I was hoping for more profound thoughts to come pouring out. This weekend was ok, worked at the vets and then today I just kind of cleaned up minor things that had turned overly disgusting, so that even I had to address them.

Nice day, so I sat on the swing and combed Newton, threw the flying squirel for the dog, and enjoyed the air around me.